


Of Confessions and Confrontations

by boats_birds



Series: KagaKuro Week 2016 [3]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance, in which Kagami has some shit to work out, or at least admitting it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 09:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8573032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boats_birds/pseuds/boats_birds
Summary: He really wished he was brave like Kuroko. Because maybe then three little words wouldn’t scare him so damn much.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Somewhere along the way, I realized all my ideas for all these prompts were kinda angsty. Am I going to change that? No. Not at all.
> 
> For the prompt: Comfort/Support  
> Timeline-wise: Flashback fic! At the end of their third year, before they go to college

Sometimes, Kagami wished he was brave like Kuroko.

It’s not that Kagami considered himself to be a coward by any means. He figured it took a certain amount of hotheaded audacity to be him. To be so sure of his basketball skills, to use his fists first and his words later, and to just be an idiot in general. Sure, he was scared of dogs and ghosts, but those didn’t count, because what person in their right mind wouldn’t be afraid of those?

It was just that Kuroko had always been the courageous one between them.

Kuroko always stood up for his beliefs and morals, against all odds and against people much larger than himself, proving all their misconceptions of him wrong. He had grown confident in his abilities, which was so amazing to Kagami because it was one thing to be born self-assured, but another to learn how to get there. Then there was how Kuroko was so unapologetically _himself_ , was comfortable in his pale skin and lean build, his weird bookworm tendencies and love for terrifying dogs everywhere.

And possibly the bravest, _stupidest_ thing of all, Kuroko always believed in _him_.

There were a dozen other ways Kuroko was courageous, more embarrassing and intimate ways. Like how Kuroko kissed his cheek on their first date, when Kagami was so nervous he was surprised his hands weren’t still sweaty. Like how Kuroko always smiled and told him everything would be okay when it felt like he wasn’t ready for college and the future. Like how Kuroko wasn’t afraid to sleep in the same bed as Kagami, even though Kagami’s sprawling limbs once resulted in a stray elbow to Kuroko’s nose.

Like how Kuroko whispered into pitch black, when he thought Kagami was asleep, “Taiga-kun… I love you.”

Kagami’s eyes snapped open, sleep long forgotten, and his shoulders tensed, waiting for something he didn’t know. He wasn’t sure if Kuroko noticed, since Kagami had his back to him, but if he did, he didn’t say anything. Instead, slender knuckles brushed over the nape of his neck, then Kuroko’s bare chest was pressed to his equally naked back, thin arms wrapping around his waist to clutch at his stomach.

Suddenly, it was like being in the last five seconds of a game. The blood in his ears roaring like a crowd, his chest pounding like the dribble of a basketball, and his fingertips trembling like he was down by one point. All adrenaline and no thought, trying to keep himself from shaking and make the final dunk.

He knew he should respond, that he should say it back. But for some reason, Kagami just couldn’t get his mouth to form the words. Maybe it was because Kuroko used his first name, something saved for special occasions and bedroom adventures, or maybe it was because while their affection and adoration for each other was obvious, it had never actually been spoken out loud. Had never been confessed like _that_. Either way, Kagami was caught off-guard and floundering.

And so he stayed silent, some dark feeling he couldn’t identify swelling in his gut.

He really wished he was brave like Kuroko. Because maybe then three little words wouldn’t scare him so damn much.

 

* * *

 

And sometimes, Kagami wished he was good with words like Kuroko.

Kagami had never been good with getting his thoughts from his brain to his tongue. Or maybe he was too good at it, given how he never thought quite enough before opening his mouth. He was pretty sure at this point that everyone knew he could never say exactly what he meant, in either language that he knew. He said one thing, it would sound like another, and then people would take it a different way.

But Kuroko could weave sentences and express himself like he was simply telling a story.

Kuroko had this way of saying things that made people want to go along with him, of lacing his words with a soothing tone that made everything he said seem right. Or maybe he only had that effect on Kagami, because at this point, if the little idiot wanted him to, Kagami would follow him right to the ends of the earth. And Kuroko could probably make it seem like a wonderful idea, if he just smiled and said, “If you please, Kagami-kun.”

And possibly the most impressive, _embarrassing_ thing of all, Kuroko only said those kinds of things to _him_.

It was no secret that Kuroko had always said things that left Kagami with red cheeks and lingering thoughts. Like how frequently Kuroko told him he was glad that they had met, that it made him believe in the destiny Midorima always went on about. Like how Kuroko whispered how beautiful and amazing he was when they were tangled between the spread of their sheets. Like how he subtly always included Kagami in his plans for the future, even the ones years and years from now.

Kuroko showed his care with more than just words too, because Kuroko knew Kagami spoke in actions. So they had entire conversations revolving around lingering fistbumps, playful side jabs, watchful eyes on Kagami’s legs to make sure they weren’t shaky. And in the past several months, Kuroko expanded his physical vocabulary to include hugs from behind while Kagami was cooking and kisses to his forehead when they laid down for the night.

Kagami was better with the actions. They didn’t leave his stomach churning with anxiety like the words did.

He must have said something funny, given how Kuroko was laughing. He couldn’t remember what it was. All he knew was that Kuroko’s voice sounded like wind chimes and it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

Kuroko tucked himself closer on the couch, buried his face in Kagami’s bicep, and chuckled, “I love you so much.”

Kagami snapped down to look at Kuroko’s mop of blue hair, the game on TV long forgotten, and his shoulders tensed, waiting for the inevitable churning in his stomach. This time, he knew Kuroko noticed, given how he immediately lifted himself from Kagami’s shoulder, creating a small distance between them. But in the next second, pale fingers immediately twined with his, Kuroko’s thumb tracing over his knuckles and blue eyes watching the TV too carefully.

Suddenly, it was like he was trapped in his childhood again. Watching as his parents spent less and less time at home, less and less time together. His father sitting him down and explaining to him about the divorce. Realizing at age twelve that people can so easily fall out of love, even if they vow their lives to each other.

He wanted to say it back, he really did, and he knew a part of Kuroko was waiting. But he couldn’t make himself, couldn’t force it past the lump in his throat. Instead, all he could think about was how warm Kuroko felt next to him, and how his spot on the couch could be cold by tomorrow. Maybe it was because the timing wasn’t right, too sudden and too quick for Kagami to prepare, or maybe it was because he was too scared to put what they were into words. That would make it tangible, make it real, and that meant it could all be taken away.

After all, he couldn’t fall out of love if he never admitted he fell in, right?

He really wished he was good with words like Kuroko. Because maybe then he could actually say all the things Kuroko deserved to hear.

 

* * *

 

But most of all, Kagami wished he could love so freely like Kuroko.

Kagami loved Kuroko. He knew that, wholeheartedly. Looking back on it, Kagami wasn’t sure how he hadn’t always known. From the moment Kuroko said he was glad to know him, and Kagami’s heart skyrocketed in his chest because that meant his existence somehow made Kuroko _happy_ , he should’ve known his fate was sealed. Because if he could make someone as wonderful and profound as Kuroko happy, then he could do anything.

Kagami also had a hard time putting that into words. Simply because he was _scared like a dumbass_. Every time he thought he’d finally worked up the nerve, could finally say those stupid little words with no hesitation, intrusive thoughts would parade his head. Thoughts about how Kuroko might leave one day, about how they might not always be tangled together like they belonged there, about how he was overthinking this because they were still just teenagers, dammit.

But Kuroko expressed his love with no hesitation, like Kagami was his whole world.

Between sharing a bed when staying the night, talking about dumb and pointless things, and their usual street court matches, Kuroko never failed to make Kagami feel like he was important. With subtle behaviors, like talking about how no one could cook like Kagami-kun, or how he liked waking up to Kagami-kun’s singing in the kitchen, or saying it wasn’t fair that Kagami-kun was so handsome. And with not so subtle behaviors, like how it seemed Kuroko was always touching him in some way, always smiling at him in that quietly exuberant way only Kuroko managed, and always telling Kagami how much he loved him every single night.

And it killed him. It killed him because Kuroko deserved so much better than him.

So Kagami tried. As best he could. He caught himself smiling at Kuroko through all hours of the day, he clung to Kuroko until he’d hear wind chime laughs about how Kagami was squeezing too tight, and he cupped Kuroko’s face, trying to convey everything he needed to say through silent conversations alone, before kissing him every single night.

But the words still wouldn’t come. Even when he tried to force himself, even when he knew he should. And he was tired of waiting for his head to make up some imaginary right time.

Kuroko tucked himself against Kagami’s side, leeching all of his warmth for the night, and Kagami’s arm wrapped around him automatically. A content sigh slipped through Kuroko’s lips with a smile, as he pressed his face into Kagami’s chest.

Then he said his usual, “Goodnight. I love you.”

Kagami looked down at wide eyes peering up, Kuroko already tilting his face towards him, and his shoulders tensed, as he screamed at himself to just _say it back already, please_. But thoughts about his parents and all his nannies and his empty house echoed through him. So instead his fingers traced along Kuroko’s jaw, red burning into blue, and he kissed him like usual.

“You know,” Kuroko suddenly whispered against his lips, “you don’t have to say it back. It’s okay.”

He froze. He didn’t mean to, but his muscles locked and his brain shut down. But he couldn’t look away from Kuroko, couldn’t try as Kuroko stared at him so intensely, blue irises almost glowing in the darkness. Kuroko knocked his forehead against Kagami’s, noses bumping and breaths melting together.

“I know so much about you, but there’s still more to learn. For the both of us.” Kuroko’s arms wrapped around his neck, nudging Kagami’s head to the slope of his shoulder. Then Kuroko just held him, squeezing every so often. “I may not understand everything yet, but I hope you’ll tell me someday. Until then, it’s alright to take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

In that moment, Kagami could swear he broke.

After trying to not make Kuroko worry for so long, he should’ve figured he couldn’t hide something like this. That’s how Kuroko worked. He noticed all the little things about Kagami that even Kagami himself missed. Kuroko heard all the things he tried to say, all the things he couldn’t say, and all the things that fell between. And then Kuroko did what he always did: accepted him, supported him, and comforted him.

He gave Kagami everything he needed without asking anything in return. When Kagami didn’t even fucking deserve it.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered low. His arms twined around Kuroko’s waist, pulling that small body impossibly closer and squeezing until he thought Kuroko’s ribs might break. “ _I’m sorry_.”

He wanted to say so many things. He wanted to tell Kuroko how he was so glad they fell into each other’s lives. He wanted to tell Kuroko that _amazing_ didn’t begin to cover how incredible he was. He wanted to tell Kuroko that out of everything in his messed up, flipped over, backwards life, Kuroko was the one thing he did right and he’d be damned if he didn’t keep it that way.

But all that came out was apologies, over and over again, the words he wanted to say caught somewhere behind his throat and between the white knuckles clinging to Kuroko’s shirt.

They both pretended they didn’t fall asleep with Kuroko’s neck slowly becoming wet.

When Kagami woke up in the morning, it was to a face full of blue hair and quiet breathing against his chest. His vision was still blurry, back just a little stiff, but he felt like a different person somehow. Or maybe he just didn’t recognize himself without weight on his shoulders.

As he watched Kuroko still sleeping, body curling closer under their blanket, Kagami wondered how he could ever be afraid. This was Kuroko, the same kid that bridged his relationship with Tatsuya, that usually understood him through one word alone, that made him feel like he was worth something more than just basketball. There was no reason to be afraid of talking to someone so understanding, patient, and kind that it made Kagami’s heart ache.

There was no reason to be afraid that all this happiness would someday leave. Not if Kuroko said otherwise, because if there was anyone more stubborn than Kagami, it was him.

So he’d tell him.

Kuroko suddenly stirred, as if he could hear Kagami’s thoughts. A soft yawn and Kuroko buried his face in Kagami’s shoulder, trying to hide from the morning sun. Kagami couldn’t resist and carded his hand through Kuroko’s wicked bedhead, causing said messy hair to shift as Kuroko glanced up at him, slowly blinking awake.

They stared at each other for a long time. Longer than Kagami could ever remember. Complete silence enveloped them, thick and comforting. Kagami drummed his fingers on Kuroko’s spine without thinking, fingertips tracing over the bumps. Kuroko smiled and snuggled closer, leaving a kiss on Kagami’s shoulder.

And Kagami couldn’t stop himself. The words spilling from his throat like they’d been waiting for an eternity. Effortless.

“I love you,” he breathed. “I just…really love you. More than anything.”

Blue eyes blinked up at him, large and slow. Then Kuroko’s smile was blinding—brighter than an imploding star, wider than the entire horizon, and happier than Kagami had ever seen. And from the moment it stretched Kuroko’s lips, Kagami knew he’d never forget it. Not if he lived for a thousand lifetimes.

Kuroko laughed under his breath and clung to Kagami’s waist, burying his face in collarbones and tanned skin.

“I love you too…”

Maybe he _could_ love so freely like Kuroko did. Because it suddenly felt like he couldn’t contain all of his emotions, like he was overflowing and burning away at the same time. All because of his perfect little idiot, who deserved to be told how wonderful he was, how much he had changed Kagami’s life, and how he was loved so damn much.

And Kagami decided to tell him just that, even during the inappropriate times, even during the unnecessary times.

Day. After day. After day.

 

* * *

 

“Kagami-kun, the sink is stopped up again.”

“I love you.”

“…I love you too, Kagami-kun, but it’s really a problem when I’m trying to brush my teeth.”

“Alright, but you know I love you.”

“ _Kagami-kun_.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, I realize I'm super late (as always) and that the event has technically already ended, but I really like the ideas I have for these prompts, so I'm going to keep writing and posting them. I'll still post them in my kagakuro week collection, just to be organized, and I'll try to get them out as quickly as I can. Thank you as always for reading and sticking with me! <3


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